By Rev. David Klingensmith, Vice-Chair for Ministry
My husband Jeff and I moved to the Phoenix area two years ago. Before that I had lived in Fresno, CA, for thirty years, Jeff for almost twenty. And since we moved here, some of our friends back in Fresno have asked if we have made many friends here yet. And often they are surprised when we tell them that we both have a nice circle of friends here already.
Some studies show that, on average, it takes at least two years to develop new friendships and relationships when moving to a new community. And we moved here in the middle of a pandemic when there was not much opportunity to meet new people. Even the church wasn’t meeting in person when we arrived. But both of us are resourceful. When we were buying our house in Surprise, we found out there was an LGBT group in our community. I wrote an email to the leader, telling her we were “a fun gay couple who were anxious to get connected.” She wrote back, telling us that the group was meeting monthly via Zoom. We got involved and have made some great friendships there. Likewise, I called Pastor Paul and came by one day to learn about the church ( I also spoke with the other UCC pastors), and finally began coming here when services resumed. I remember Bobbie Chapman telling me that this is a great church, and “you can’t hide here!” I got involved and feel very alive here.
Faith, friendships and relationships are what make me come alive. I just finished reading The Good Life by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz. They have worked with the Harvard Study of Adult Development that has followed the lives of two generations of individuals from the same families for more than eighty years. They have found that a key to a “good life” lies in the relationships we make. These relationships can be spouses or partners, a friend who you could feel comfortable calling in the middle of the night in a crisis, but they can also be more casual acquaintances. Sometimes relationships develop out of curiosity that moves us to talk to a stranger, like the person sitting next to us on a flight, or someone at the gym, or someone we don’t know at the Church of the Palms!
Whether you are new to COTP or have been here for a long time, I hope you will take time each week to speak to someone you don’t know. Maybe you will learn something about their faith and values, what makes them come alive, and discover what makes you come alive, as well.